Day 1 - Walking Through the Door

The First Step into the Unknown.

I woke up with nerves fluttering in my stomach, a jittery mix of excitement and anxiety, it was the first day of the Spinal Flow Immersion. I could hardly believe I was actually here.

Two years ago, I stumbled across an Instagram account that stirred something in me. It was unlike anything I’d seen before, and I have been around the block when it comes to the various modalities of Energy Healing and Kundalini Activations. And after getting sucked into this account I could feel it deep within, this was the work I wanted to do. The account belonged to a woman who ran a family practice offering Spinal Network Analysis, working with children, mothers, and pregnant individuals. Their stories were beautiful, raw, and transformative. And I sent a quiet signal out to the universe to bring me here.

A Modality That Finally Made Sense.

That intention slowly opened doors. I explored SNA, and discovered other modalities involving how to work with our spinal energy. And finally, almost a year or so later, Spinal Flow found me and I knew this was the missing piece. Founded by Dr. Carli, who had a background in Network Spinal Analysis. Spinal Flow builds upon the concept of the “spinal wave”, a flowing energy that awakens the body’s natural healing intelligence, releasing blockages vertebra by vertebra, and activating our Life Force Energy.

It was everything I had been searching for. A bridge between energy healing and the physical body. A modality rooted in science and spiritual wisdom. It aligned with the belief I’ve held for years, that everything is connected and true healing treats the whole person, not just the symptom,  something often missing in modern Western medicine.

From Panic to Persistence.

So here I was, in Barcelona, alone, about to step into a completely new experience. It was out of my comfort zone in every way, and yet, I felt it in my bones… this was where I needed to be.

When I entered the registration area, I was met with a sea of people, buzzing with conversation and excitement. It was loud and overwhelming. The panic rose fast. I felt that familiar tightness of anxiety bubbling just beneath the surface. I took my name tag, looked around a little before I left the room and hurried back to my own hotel room to do EFT tapping, trying to soothe my nervous system and remind myself that We can do this.

Breaking the Habit of Hiding.

The truth is, there’s an old version of me that wouldn’t have walked back through that door. That would’ve let the fear win. I’ve lived so much of my life from that place, a dysregulated nervous system, a wounded inner child, keeping me in what felt like safety but was really a cycle of (debilitating) self-protection that stopped me from truly living.

That whole first day, anxiety sat like a quiet echo under my skin. I held on, I knew I wanted to be there, even if my body screamed otherwise. But I also knew, this way of living was not sustainable. I’ve carried this fight-or-flight pattern for decades. Sometimes I pushed through, other times I stepped back. But even when I appeared “fine,” the fear was always in the background, ready to surface.

After a couple of years of studying the nervous system and how our bodies responds to our created patterns I decided to become certified in Trauma-Informed care, and it was a turning point for me. It helped me recognise and work with these patterns, not only in myself, but in others, and it deepened my passion and understanding for helping people return to a state of safety so that Healing can begin.

Learning to Track the Body’s Story.

Despite the internal waves of fear, I met incredible people that day. We began learning the foundational concepts of Spinal Flow, how to assess the body and locate blockages formed through emotional, chemical, or physical stress. We practiced assessments on one another and when my own results were read back to me, I felt completely seen. The pain I had held for years, often silently, was suddenly acknowledged, mapped, and validated. Even my posture revealed imbalance: uneven shoulders, hips, ears, and one leg shorter than the other. Signs of unresolved trauma living in my body.

These assessments would serve as a baseline. We would track our progress over the 7 days. Just like with clients, change would be measured over time. Regular treatments allow the body to stay in the flow, enabling lasting shifts, which I was about to experience first hand this week.

Meeting My Inner Child.

That evening, after a long and emotional but exciting day, made more intense by having landed at 2 a.m. the night before. I couldn’t sleep. Exhausted, yet restless, I felt bitter tears begin to well up. Anger. Frustration. Shame. Why was I still reacting like this? After all the work I’ve done?

Depleted from the day I allowed the tears to come, and with them came something deeper. I found myself speaking to my younger self, the little girl who had been afraid so many times, who had felt invisible in her struggle and emotionally abandoned. And it dawned on me, it was she who was angry and frustrated and felt shame. And now I finally, truly, saw her. I held her and I validated all her feelings, I allowed them to be there and to be felt. I told her she was right to be angry, bitter and hurt. That she was never meant to carry those fears alone. And something shifted.

A Healing Dialogue Through Time.

As I spoke to her, I placed my hand over my heart. I could feel Energy moved through my palm, spreading warmth through my chest. I was gently rocking, as though soothing a child. And in many ways, I was. I felt her presence so clearly. I reassured her, It’s safe now. I wont let anyone hurt you anymore, and even though things might seem scary, I’m here. I will protect you. You can go and play, I’ll handle the hard things now. 

Supported by Something Greater.

I could feel my inner child was comforted, I could feel I was comforted, held by my older self and all the energies in the room. I could sense the support of Source, my Guides, Ancestors, and the Sacred Feminine who has been with me on this journey for a long time.

And then, unexpectedly, I felt the presence of another soul drop in, a gentle blue energy orbiting my field, arriving with deep familiarity.

For a moment I simply observed, unsure of what I was sensing. But then came a rush of energy pouring into my womb and sacred portal, not from within me but through me. It was a divine force, soft and sacred, working with me. A clearing began, directed by something far greater.

And in that moment, I knew. This was the soul I had once welcomed, and lovingly released back to Source two decades ago, a memory stored in the body, not in words. A trauma held quietly in the background for years, now finally ready to be released in peace.

That night was sacred. Beyond language. I’ve transmuted grief before, but never like this. I was held, by my guides, my ancestors, the divine feminine herself. My inner child was no longer clinging in pain. She was comforted. She was free.

A Shift That Changed Everything.

The next morning, I felt the difference. Tangibly. Physically. Emotionally. A new self had emerged, one I had been working toward for so long. Synchronicities poured in, reflecting back what I had experienced the night before, my conversation with the universe, inner child healing, keys and unlocking. And then, Hecate, the biggest confirmation yet. She had been quietly present in the months leading up to this immersion, appearing in symbols around me, messages, whispers, but whom I hadn’t dared believe was truly guiding me. 

But now I understand. Hecate is known to appear before major thresholds, when deep transformation, healing, and reclamation are near. She walks beside those preparing to cross into a new way of being. Her presence wasn’t random. It was the torch at the gate.

I see now that she was guiding me, not pushing but waiting for this moment, for me to be ready. And with her stood the sacred feminine, whose presence I had also felt so  strongly, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene.. Together, they surrounded this portal I had entered. And as I stepped through, I did so with all of them at my side. 

The Portal of the Inner Child.

Until that morning, I hadn’t realised exactly how much of my life had been shaped by my inner child, how many decisions, likes, interests, fears, and hesitations had come from her. But now, she had released her grip. She felt safe enough to step back. And I? I walked into Day 2 without hesitation. Without fear. I felt whole. And it was amazing.

Acknowledging and healing my inner child was the gateway all along, the key that unlocked the next level of my life. I could feel it with every step. And there is no coincidence it would happen now. 

And this? This was only the beginning of a mind-blowing week of Healing, Awakenings and returning home to myself.