I woke up once again feeling like a new, upgraded version of myself, had stepped in overnight. I was still floating from the profound Kundalini experience of the evening before, slightly in disbelief that it had even happened. But the Universe, ever generous, quieted my doubts with signs and synchronicities throughout the day.
I felt the excited urge to share my experience with someone in the group, but decided to hold it sacred for now. This moment, the start of this awakening, was a divine secret I was still integrating. (This topic actually came up, not by me I might add, a couple of days later in one of our EOD Q&A sessions)
We dove straight into another day of immersive Spinal Flow training, it was intense, hands-on and transformative. We learned how to extend the flow from the sacrum all the way to the cranium and back, using additional dura access points and sacral bolsters to support the movement of energy.
As a practitioner, it was so fascinating to learn how something as simple as pressure, a firmer touch or the lightest stroke, could either stimulate or soothe the Energy and Nervous system. We practiced tracking where the flow became “stuck,” and then working gently with those areas to help the energy move. It was like magic, watching the body shift and unwind layer by layer.
As the client, I felt those shifts firsthand. My body responded to the flow, guiding me in subtle ways to move and assist the energy. I could feel where the energy traveled and where it "paused" and where it struggled to move through, specifically around my throat, or the Passion Gateway, as it’s called in Spinal Flow.
I understood that healing happens in layers, it is an ever peeling onion. The flow doesn’t force its way through, it only moves where the body is ready to receive and release. I was deeply aware that this blockage was connected to life lessons I hadn’t yet fully faced and embodied. And while Spinal Flow helps us clear away layers and heal what no longer serves, it also invites us to boldly face what’s still being learned.
That day, our sessions were fast-paced, rotating between client, practitioner, and observer within a 60 minute block, give or take. Sometimes, that just wasn’t enough time to bring a flow to completion. That day I could feel my energy stalling at my throat, the flow was unable to pass through fully. And although I longed for just one more session to help move this energy, at the end of the day I knew this was part of the process.
In a real session, an intention is set and the body knows when the treatment is complete, not the clock. That’s something I love about this modality. We don’t treat by the minute. We treat the body until it says “enough for now" with the time intention we have set.
As the rest of the day progressed, I became more and more distracted. My focus was slipping. A heavy pressure began to build at the base of my skull, and soon, dizziness followed. During our last session of the day, reviewing client health forms, I had to excuse myself and step outside, the sensation was overwhelming.
In the courtyard, emotion welled up suddenly and unexpectedly. Tears fell without a clear reason. I wasn’t in actual pain, emotionally or physically. Nothing had happened to trigger this wave. But I knew this was an energetic release, a block surfacing and releasing in the only way the body knew how.
One of the training assistants came to check on me. I explained the symptoms I was experiencing and that I believed the discomfort wasn’t physical in the conventional sense, but energetic from todays sessions. She nodded gently and affirmed what I was feeling, Spinal Flow can surface stored emotions and long-held blocks, sometimes even long-forgotten memories. This process can be experienced as very uncomfortable for the body. It feels like symptoms are getting worse and you are backtracking. It can be scary as we are not always aware of what the body is doing and why this is happening.
This is a cross road where you need to trust in the process. And unfortunately, this is where many clients drop off and don't come back for another session.
When you start clearing deeply, your body often brings unresolved trauma to the surface. That’s how it releases. And if we don’t understand this, we might mislabel it as failure, or assume the work isn’t “working.” But in truth, it’s a sign that it is working.
But it is also a choice, are we willing to fully see and confront what has surfaced? Or ignore and let it go back to a dormant state, to continue to fester until our bodies say stop in a different way.
This is why I’m so passionate about integration, embodiment is everything.
When I hold space for my Breathwork clients, I always provide my them with an integration workbook, and I plan to do the same for my Spinal Flow clients. Because you don’t just walk away after a session, you carry it with you. You live through it. And you need tools to support that journey.
That evening, I left the training early. I couldn’t focus, I had an intense headache and felt emotionally drained. Back in my hotel room, I closed the curtains, turned down the lights, and lay on the bed with my eyes closed.
I began to quietly scan my body, going through the sensations I was feeling. How would I describe this, what can I identify. And suddenly, I blurted out loud "concussion".
This feels exactly like the concussion, and all memories came back to me hard.
A few years earlier, my partner and I were on our way home late at night from a rodeo show we’d attended in the next town over. We were in the back of an Uber on the motorway in Dallas when a drunk driver crashed into us at full speed. And everything went dark.
We were stranded in Texas, far from home and support, disoriented, hurt, thrown into the whirlwind of what is the nightmare of the U.S. medical system. My partner was badly injured with broken ribs that pretty much debilitated her, though luckily nothing life threatening. I slipped into full caretaking mode. There was no time or space to process my own trauma, I just kept moving through the pain and confusion. Even though I’d been on the side of full impact, I had, remarkably, “only” sustained a concussion and bruised whiplash followed by weeks of vertigo and nausea. When I later saw the state of the car, I knew we must have been deeply protected that night.
But now, my body was bringing it all back. The dizziness, the stiff neck and head pressure, the emotional flood, mirroring the exact concussion symptoms I had following the crash. And the trauma of this accident followed us for months afterwards. I never had time, or took the time, to process everything when it was happening. This was clearly trauma still living in my body, and Spinal Flow had unearthed it, another layer, showing me it is time to release.
I didn’t have the capacity to “fix” it that night. But I acknowledged it, I held space for it and allowed it to release as best I could. Then asked for a peaceful, healing sleep.
By morning, I wasn’t fully “healed,” nor did I expect it to be. If anything I felt slightly hungover. But something had eased and I felt more grounded, I was ready to return to another day of training. I trusted the process and I have come to trust my body and intuition, and I do my best to observe and let come what is ready to come, and release.
Because this is what healing looks like sometimes.
It can be messy. It can be uncomfortable.
It can feel very incomplete.
But it is moving.
Always moving.